A Baptismal Protrepticus of Moses-Isaiah-Aristotle-Franklin-Gordon Bacchus-Jesus

Another excerpt from my forthcoming book, specifically from the creative syntheses in the concluding chapter, aiming to demonstrate and modernize the mimetic hybridity of Jewish-Christian literature in late antiquity.


A voice in the wilderness cries out, “Make reparation! The kingdom of Bacchus-Jesus is near.”

Someone asked him, “Who are you?” And Bacchus-Jesus said to them, “I am Jewish, Black and Beautiful. I am the broken bird that can fly, and I lead the dance.”

Christian police and soldiers asked him, “And we, what should we do?”

Bacchus-Jesus said to them, “Whiteness is the most pernicious myth, an ever-changing category and fickle label with no basis in genetics. We are homo sapiens sapiens, a unitary race, a single species, one human family. Each of us is precious and bound to each other, from womb to tomb. Your individual genome holds more base pairs in common with random strangers in other countries than with your own parents, siblings, and children. Therefore, do not join or defend or abide the Blut und Boden chants of the militant barbarian hordes of Nazi zombies cannibalizing our democratic, civil society. Look long at your blood, your actual DNA. Sample the soil, saturated by centuries of violence. Racial, cultural, and ethical purity is only in your head, and it is driving you crazy. You are all my beautiful mutts, miscegenations, and mulatos. So be proud to be asses. Imbibe the mixed mirth of our intermingled human blood! Eat me! Drink me! Stop staining the soil with more and more of your scapegoated brother’s blood!

A group of Christian Bros on Reddit asked him, “Bro, Bro, what about us?”

Bacchus-Jesus said to them, “Don’t call me Bro unless you stand in solidarity with those who suffer, especially the suffragettes! Menstruations and miscarriages (spontaneous abortions) are Mother Nature’s norm. Abortion does not defile the body or the land any more than menstruation does. Life is the beautiful exception, born of struggle, and life only thrives when welcomed with love. Whether women plan for birth or abortion, they are following Mother Nature. Female bodies can never be the subjugated domain of male laws, politicians, vigilantes, or partners. Listen well to the Jewish Scriptures and Rabbinic teachings: my holy word says nothing about the ethics of abortion, but it does repeatedly and emphatically say that the life, the nefesh, the soul-force abides in the spirit, the ruach, the breath. A human being is not a soul, is not alive, is not a life, until and unless it breathes for itself. Give up your absurd reverence for zygotes and ridiculous misappropriation of Plato in thinking that it contains a complete, invisible soul. Becoming a person, a soul, a life, is a gradual, symbiotic process. Stand in awe that embryonic development mirrors and replays the whole history of evolution in microcosm. Disposing of microscopic specks of cells or evacuating unwanted pregnancies is not what defiles the body or the land. Taking away a living person’s breath is what does that. So do not kick against the goads of a woman’s care and control of her own body, and do not force or coerce her body to yours. Even the strongest stallion must yield to his rider. Stand in solidarity with her, silently or stealthily if need be, for to her alone has Mother Nature given the proper choice to mate and the power to create and sustain new life.”

Then his pale old rich disciples asked him, “We have left all the black-besooted inner cities to follow Rupert Murdoch and our Facebook feeds. Where now should we go?”

Bacchus-Jesus said to them, “If you are aged, pale and privileged, cease your paranoid white flight and white sight! Delete Facebook. Stop giving away your valuable attention and data to tech executives who are just commodifying you! And stop watching Fox News for Bacchus’ sake! Give your attention and your bodies to stand with your children and see them for who they are, your future! Take wonder in what they see and behold the world anew through their eyes. Leave your small-minded segregated suburban churches and worship me in multicolored and multicultural communities of faith. Stop giving your time, talent, and tithes to support segregated churches and their white male caste of leaders. Bring your tithes and offerings, your loans and businesses, your resources and your networks to me where my glory abides, in colored communities and neighborhoods. Tear down the false idols of the Confederacy and let them be buried for good. Build memorials and monuments and musea not to the dead leaves and letters and legacy of the Bible but instead to love and honor the very image of God, human beings, the living and the dead who have suffered injustice, most of all my colored kin, migrant families, and Jewish people. Behold, I was, am, and will always be the Colored Migrant Jew. Whenever you enter into domestic, economic, legal, and carceral solidarity with the least of these, you stand in union with me, and I stand in union with you.”