Maybe Rick Warren, Inc., was Right

If Jesus was a Rich Fat White Republican Baptist Male

A Capitalist

A Consumerist

A Businessman

An Entertainer

A Motivational Speaker

A Life Coach

A Marketer

A Brand

Bland

Incapable of Critical Reasoning

Illiterate in Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek

But oh so prolific, his entourage, in their panoply of English paraphrases of a homogeneous, therapeutic, self-help Bible

What if the real Jesus, the Jesus of history, was a Jewish Aesop, a Jewish Spartacus?

What if Jesus was a bad-ass, kick-ass, poor-ass, low-class, yet still brilliant, rhetorically biting, Aramaic-speaking, Greek-reading colored Jew?

What if Jesus was the complete opposite of everything Orange County Republican Christians hold dear?

What does that make Rick Warren?

What does that make all of his followers? Devotees? Fundamentalist Capitalist Consumerist Cultists?